Divorce is Great, Growing Social Problem in Kansas

[Accompanying this article is a picture of two children in front of Judge Cogswell's bench, with the Bible Verse underneath, “’The Fathers Have Eaten a Sour Grape, and the Children's Teeth are Set on Edge.’ Jeremiah 31:29," and below this, the caption, "Children from broken homes frequently appear before Probate Judge Glenn Cogswell.” Ironically, one of the children posing in front of Judge Cogswell’s bench was his own daughter, Carolyn (me). Two years later Judge Cogswell's own marriage and family would be broken by divorce.]


By Robert Townsend of the Daily Capital Staff

The Topeka Daily Capital, Sunday, Aug. 8, 1954

“Now, Mrs. Roe, tell the judge the story of your married life.”
With this advice from her lawyer, a trim, tight-lipped woman in her middle thirties began a detailed account of everything that had happened to her for the last 15 years.

The story was tainted, even saturated, with all the bitterness, hate, antagonism, frustration, and loneliness that can mire itself in human feelings. It was the story of a divorce in the making – the last obtainable goal where recrimination could be complete.

Kansans, who have long prided themselves on strong family ties and bed-rock morality, would do well to consider the question of divorce. It is certainly their biggest social catastrophe.

Consider these reasons why:

According to the Kansas Judicial Council, in the year ending June 30, 1953, there were 9,223 divorce cases filed in the state’s district courts.
Divorce actions have led all other types of cases filed in Kansas courts each year for the past eight years.

Kansas spend millions of dollars each year to support dependent children that come from these broken homes.

On a national level, it is estimated one of every four of today’s marriages will end in divorce. There are now 400,000 granted in the United States each year.

The all-time high for the nation and for Kansas was in 1946. An estimated 610,000 divorces were granted that year, the end result of many hasty wartime marriages. Kansas had 13,476 divorce actions filed in the fiscal year ending July 1, 1946.

The divorce rate in the United States has increased 800 percent since the Civil War and this nation now leads all other nations of the world in divorce.

Shawnee County and Topekans are a frightening example of the little regard placed on marriage and the home today. In the same period mentioned above,1,273 persons got marriage licenses here. During the same time, 760 persons filed divorce actions in the District Court, almost 60 percent of the total who were married!

Of these 760 divorce actions, the following happened: A divorce was granted to 357 women, 98 to husbands, 2 were denied, and 303 were dismissed. Do not be misled by the dismissals. Not all were reconciliations between the couples. Many of the cases later were re-instated in the court and ended in a final decree for the petitioner.
To say the least, the 303 classified as dismissals during that fiscal year meant that something drastic was wrong in the family involved.
Where is the fault? Who is to blame?

Social mysteries are not easily explained. Psychiatrists, judges, juvenile authorities, marriage counselors, and social workers have ample evidence of what is happening but still must deal with intangibles.

Because divorce is a personal, individual thing. It is as good or as bad as the individuals involved. It is a breakdown in human relations with its causes and effects as different as the individuals involved. Therefore, each divorce must be considered separately, because as no two personalities are alike, no two divorces are alike.

Trite formulas and textbook answers about divorce are no more than statistics in prose form with punctuation.

Consider the “other woman” example. Untold thousands of times this excuse has been used to end a marriage. To the uninitiated this can only mean one thing – that a man no longer appreciates his hone and is throwing his family to the four winds in sheer stupidity. Or else he has met a voluptuous siren who is ever on the lure for a happily married man, intent only at wrecking his home.

This is pure bunk. Competent marriage counselors know that a happily married man is no more likely to fall for a slinky blonde than an honest man is to rob a church. When the other woman becomes involved, the husband already is miserably unhappy.

Judge Clayton W. Rose, nationally respected for his work in Domestic Relations Court at Columbus, Ohio, has seen some 40,000 divorce cases in his 18 years on the bench. He has concluded:

“The marriage is already on the rocks when the other woman enters the picture.”

In short, the woman is a symptom, rather than a cause of marital discord. It also has been concluded that in most cases when a man is involved with another woman, hehas no intention of marrying her and will break with her when he feels like it.
What then are the causes of divorce? Psychiatrists and marriage counselors can best give the technical, individually personal reasons but if a generalization can be made, this could be said:

It is the people who refuse to realize that marriages is a growing up process; those who can’t learn that marriage doesn’t have to be perfect; and those who mistakenly believe they get rid of responsibility instead of assuming it when they take their vows.

It is indeed a naïve person who thinks marriage will turn life into a fairyland. Such infatuated couples eventually wake up to find there are even more problems than before and bigger realities. It’s too much for some to take and they hide in divorce, forgetting the problems and realities could also mean more satisfaction in life if faced squarely.

Some also forget that in the merger of two personalities, there is bound to be some sparks and fire, that these sparks, when treated maturely, can be marital strength in the making.

Glenn Cogswell, Shawnee County’s probate judge, who constantly must arbitrate family problems, has another insight to the make-up of a divorce client.

“Fundamentally they are quitters,” he said. “They have a quitter psychology. They refuse to believe that marriage can have problems and then at the first real problem, throw up their hands and quit.

“I have observed that a person who fails in one marriage is likely to fail in a subsequent marriage.

Judge Cogswell has noted, as have many other people think of marriage as something brittle, that it will break with the first strain. They refuse to believe that marriage can be a tough institution, capable of withstanding almost any pressure.

Dr. Eugene Frank, pastor of Topeka’s First Methodist Church, has another insight to the problem.

“Nothing, not even religion,” he said, “has been able to keep up with today’s social pressures. I have noticed that often a successful marriage depends on how much the couple is willing to work at marriage, how willing they are to stand up to the social and economic pressures against them.

“One of these pressures I have observed is the urge to have immediate satisfaction of everything. When a couple is not willing to save, to build for the future, when it has no goals, it no longer has the cement to hold a family together.”