Tribute to Peggy, the wife of Dad's old age

Wednesday, July 20, 2011, we buried Peggy, the wife of Dad's old age. I told her many times, "You are the best thing that ever happened to Dad," and I meant it.

When he was with Anne, she had decided she only wanted to see Dad's children, David and me, "one at a time," so the year my niece Rosamund was about 3, I didn't get to see her, because that was the year Anne allowed Dad to see David and not me.

When Dad married Peggy, I was getting my Ph. D. in Knoxville, so whenever I got vacations, I was able to spend about five consecutive days with Dad and Peggy.

I got to see him in his pajamas and drink coffee with him in the morning. I got to kiss him goodnight. All these things I missed when he was married to Irene and when he was married to Judy.

"This has been so healing for me, Peggy," I told her. "I appreciate so much that you care about my relationship with Dad." Seems like that was not so much the case with the others.

I had many good moments with her before she died. I believe I got to tell her everything I had wanted to tell her. I told her, "He loved you so much. You're so good."

I remember eating Thanksgiving dinner with them in 2010. Dad sitting across from Peggy and me. He looked across the table at her and so earnestly spoke these words:

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I do, I do, I do, I do, I do."

I will never forget it. I don't think he was ever as happy as he was with Peggy. And for that I am eternally grateful.

One day, a few weeks ago,suddenly, the thing I wanted most to do was to grieve Dad with Peggy. I went by the nursing home, where she was sitting on the side of her bed. I held her and wept, and she held me. Afterwards, she said, "When you get hom, if you can't sleep, you can sleep here." Of course, that would have been impossible, unless I slept on the couch. She had an actual apartment in this facility.

Anyway, she's gone now, and I didn't get to tell all the family and friends how much she meant to me, so this is that little moment in time where I tried to do that.

She was the bullseye. She was the homerun. Nothing against the others. I loved them all. Just that this one, well, she was just special, that's all.

I know that's not very eloquent, but that was the only way I could say it in five minutes. More later.


http://www.penwellgabeltopeka.com/obituary-pg.asp?src=choice&obitid=49663&name=Peggy+Jean+Cogswell&city=Topeka&st=KS

Peggy Anderson Cogswell, 80, Topeka, passed away on Saturday, July 16, 2011, at Homestead of Topeka.

Peggy was born June 7, 1931, in Topeka, the daughter of James and Bessie Allen. She was a graduate of Washburn Rural High School.

She had been a member of First Christian Church.

Peggy married M.D. Drummond. He preceded her in death. She married Arthur D. Anderson in June 1970. He preceded her in death on February 10. 1993. She then married Glenn D. Cogswell. He died February 7, 2011.

Survivors include daughter, Pamela J. (Drummond) Hatfield and husband Dean, Tonganoxie; son, Bradley Drummond and wife, Kelly, Topeka; step-daughters, Lisa Smith and husband, Robert, Lawrence, Mary Lynn Anderson, Texarkana, AR; granddaughters, Paige Hatfield, Mallory Hatfield, Jillian Drummond, all of Topeka; step-granddaughters, Christina Smith, Jessica Smith, both of Lawrence; and step-grandson, Andrew Pryor, Texarkana, AR. She was preceded in death by a brother, Neal Powell; and sister, Ruth Duckworth.